One year ago today….we had just made it through our first night at home with Benjamin and were utterly exhausted.
We had a confused two-year-old girl, not sure what this little brown boy was doing in her house and why he was taking all her parents’ attention away.
We had a nine-month-old baby boy who couldn’t yet roll over, much less crawl or walk.
Benjamin was extremely insecure and fragile. We couldn’t put him down and definitely couldn’t walk away for even a minute. Bathroom breaks and breaks to eat meals were hard. Tending to Madeline’s needs even harder. Cooking or cleaning were completely out of the question.
We were very nervous about the transition to being an inter-racial family. Our first few trips out into public were very nerve-wracking.
Today…we are 366 days into life as a family of four.
Benjamin is now the best sleeper EVER. He sleeps 11-12 hours straight every night and naps 3-4 hours every day. Yes, that’s right - I get a 4 hour nap out of him at least once a week.
Madeline doesn’t remember life without Little Brother, and she is very used to sharing attention and toys with Benjamin. (Not that she likes it any more than she used to….but that’s for a different blog post.)
Benjamin is twenty-one months old and is now walking (finally started at 19 months!) and feeding himself and communicating better every day.
Benjamin has “arrived” as far as attachment and security goes. He loves other people and is very social, but he also clings appropriately to his mama and daddy. He loves to cuddle and be rocked and is very affectionate. I honestly don’t think he has any insecurities other than just the normal age-appropriate separation anxiety.
We have had exactly ZERO negative experiences in dealing with other people’s reactions to us as an inter-racial family. Everywhere we go, people are drawn to Benjamin’s magnetic personality and flirtatious smile. He gets tons of attention out in public, and it has all been good. We’ve also had lots of opportunities for new relationships because of the new dynamic of our family. I never even think about watching other people out of the corner of my eye anymore to see how they are reacting to us. It doesn’t even cross my mind.
Yes, it has been a hard year. A really hard one. But the Lord has blessed us tremendously. We have come so far!
June 12th, 2010
June 12th, 2011